Coming to Terms with What Happened to You
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People with
PTSD often try to cope by attempting not to think about the trauma. Although
this is an understandable thing to do, it will not help you come to terms with
what happened and move on with your life.
The best way to come to terms with what happened is to ‘expose’ yourself to your memories of the trauma. Research suggests that exposure to memories of the trauma helps the mind process it and store it as a memory you have better control over. This module will help you do this.
Here’s what Chloe had to say about her experiences of what happened to her:
“When my therapist told me that I should go back over what happened to me, I was absolutely terrified! I tried my best never to think about what happened. It was too painful. I started by writing the story of what happened that day. I won’t say it was easy, but I understood that it was something I needed to do. I wrote the story, and every day I read it aloud. It got easier. Every time I read it, it became less painful. Actually, looking back, I think it was the most helpful part of my therapy.”
The
importance of coming to terms with what happened to you
- We generally believe that nothing bad can happen to us. We see traumatic events as things which happen to other people. A trauma changes these beliefs. Suddenly the world seems like a more dangerous place.
- A traumatic event is usually very
sudden and unexpected. There is no time to mentally prepare for what is
about to happen. During a trauma, the mind is unable to take in what is
happening properly. As a result, thoughts and feelings can’t be processed
in the normal way. These thoughts and feelings go on to cause problems.
- At the time of the trauma, you may have believed that you were going to die or that others were going to die. The mind holds on to these vivid memories, possibly to stop the same thing from happening again. These memories are very upsetting.
- It is common that the trauma memory is not updated properly to include the fact that you (or others) survived. Thinking back to the traumatic event is very painful as a result.
Ten tips to help you
come to terms with what happened to you
1. It is common for people with PTSD to try and cope by attempting not to think about the trauma - this will not however help you come to terms with what happened and move on with your life.
2. It is important to come to terms with what happened to you - remember that this is a major step in moving on with your life.
3. The best way to come to terms with what happened is to ‘expose’ yourself to the trauma memory - this allows the mind to reprocess what happened.
4. ‘Exposing’ yourself to the trauma memory will prove that you can safely think about what happened - you will learn that you can cope with your feelings and that the trauma memory is not ‘dangerous’.
5. ‘Exposing’ yourself to the trauma
memory will eventually make it less upsetting - it will also reduce intrusive thoughts, flashbacks and
nightmares.
6. We recommend that you expose yourself to the trauma memory by writing about it and re-reading your story - instructions are given in the ‘Exercise’ section.
7. Write about what happened to you in as much detail as you possibly can - This is the best way of re-processing what happened. Go back to what you wrote and add to it when you remember more details.
8. You might like to tell your loved ones
about what you are doing - their encouragement and support
can be very helpful.
9. Reward yourself for any progress you make - rewards can include things like watching a film, having a long bath or going out for a meal.
10. Don’t give up! - ‘exposing’ yourself to the trauma memory is difficult and upsetting. It will get easier. Stick with it.
