Managing Your Anger
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People get angry when they feel threatened, frustrated, rejected, criticised or annoyed. When anger isn’t properly controlled it can cause problems.
Uncontrolled anger can be very difficult and upsetting for those around you. It may be for their sake that you try to do something about the problem.
Here’s what Chloe had to say about her angry feelings:
“I felt so angry after the attack. Angry with my attacker for what he did to me; angry about how he’d made me feel; angry with myself for letting it affect me. I was on such a short fuse. I would fly into a rage at the slightest thing. I couldn’t help it. To the relief of my family, I learned to control my temper with some techniques my therapist taught me and I feel a lot less irritable these days”
This module will help you understand and learn to control your anger.
Understanding Anger
· Anger creates a rush of energy through our bodies. This is caused by the release of hormones such as adrenaline.
· We deal with situations in different ways. Angry reactions range from feeling mildly annoyed to exploding into a violent rage.
· People with PTSD often become angry more quickly and over smaller things than before.
· People with PTSD might feel especially angry about what happened or how the trauma has affected them.
· Anger is composed of thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations and behaviour. It can be helpful to break down your experience of anger to better understand it.
· Anger isn't a bad thing in itself. It can help us survive or protect other people in dangerous situations. Anger is our body’s way of telling us that something is wrong and that we need to take action to make it better.
· If not controlled, anger can cause problems. It can cloud our thinking and result in us acting in ways we later regret. Anger can cause difficulties at work and in relationships.
· It is helpful to realise that the surge of energy created by anger can feel pleasurable. Taking your anger out on another person can create a feeling of power. For these reasons, anger can become almost addictive.
· Anger can be bad for health. A long-term anger problem can cause physical as well as mental problems.
Managing anger
Managing your anger involves two important processes:
1. Understanding what makes you angry
2. Learning to control your anger so that you don’t lose control
1. Understanding what makes you angry - The best way to understand what makes you angry is to keep an Anger Diary. Discovering patterns to your anger will help you learn to manage it. The exercise section provides detailed instructions on keeping an Anger Diary.
2. Controlling your anger – below we present ten tips to help you control your anger. We recommend you use these when you feel your anger rising.
Ten tips to help you control your anger
1. Count to ten before you react allowing time for the initial rush of anger to settle. This can help you to calm down and act in a more sensible way.
2. Pause
momentarily to think about the consequences
of exploding into a rage. Thinking about your options might stop you
behaving in a way you will later regret.
3. Take some deep breaths to relieve angry feelings. Breathe from your diaphragm (under your lungs) so that your stomach moves in and out with each breath.
4. Imagine
what your calmest friend would say to you and give yourself the same
advice.
5. Remove yourself from the situation and write down why you’re feeling angry. This can calm you and help you see things differently without upsetting others.
6. Vent your
anger away from others if you feel you have to
vent your anger, do so away from others. Punch a pillow or a cardboard box, or
go to a quiet secluded place and scream.
7. Try exercising this will help release anger in a less destructive way.
8. Practise relaxation – to create a
feeling of calm and reduce anger. The “relaxation” section teaches some good
techniques. Having a relaxing bath or listening to calming music may also help
you unwind.
9. Record your angry feelings – in your Diary. Describe what made you angry and why. This should bring clarity to the situation and help you understand what makes you cross.
10. Sleep and eat well – feeling tired or hungry can make you irritable.
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